Thursday, July 29, 2010

When We Feel Weak

Prayer is such an phenomenal thing!  I cannot actually believe that an all-powerful God would respond to my heartfelt pleas.  That is so astounding to me!  Who am I that He could be so gripped by the cries of the inner things of my heart???  

Today was a special prayer day, as all Tuesdays are for me.  I have been setting aside these days to truly seek God and wait on Him for leading and guidance for every step of this thing.  As of late, I have felt like I am praying and there seems to be no response at all.  Though I pour out all my hopes, my dreams, my frustrations, my depravities there seems to be no answer.  Silence from God can be some of the loudest ringing in my ear.  Especially when I want so badly to hear from Him!  

I very often feel like maybe I am not hearing from Him about all the specific prayers I pray regarding Hope House, because maybe I am the one who is wanting it to happen and God isn’t.    I prayed so specifically today that I would have confirmation from Him if I am to pursue this thing.  I needed to know that I am not the one forcing this by any means. 

 My other very specific prayer request was regarding the name.  I got a call from legalzoom today and they said that the last name choice I have chosen is available if I would like to proceed with that name.  I did not know how to answer.  Do I wait to hear from House of Hope?  Or do I proceed with the name choice that is available?  I also wanted to know if I was to purse a name with “hope” in it at all.. maybe I was wrong about all of that to begin with...

I signed up for Beth Moore’s new Bible study on Esther.   I am always pretty excited to start a new Beth Moore study, but tonight, I was so captured by the things that came out of her mouth.  It was like God was standing right in front of me, looking me right in the face, and speaking directly to my very soul.  He answered both of the prayers that I specifically prayed today; there is no doubt about it.  

In response to my, am-I-to-do-this-thing-prayer, He answered YES! In all of my questioning and pleading, I know I have told God that I am so not able and not equipped to do such a thing as this.  I also told him that I am scared-to-death about doing this.  Would you believe it, but that He used MY VERY OWN words to remind me tat HE is using me and I will be used.  He said (through Beth Moore) “There’s no place God can’t go, especially with a willing, scared-to-death, ill-equipped vessel”.  How do you like that?  The very words I threw out there before Him, rationalizing why I could not be the one He would use, He threw right back at me as if saying, “Oh sweetie, but you are the one.”  Now, let’s be honest... that is still scary!

With that out of the way, God moved on and addressed my second prayer.  Of all the topics for Beth Moore to talk about last night, she camped out on hope for a good 10 minutes.  I mean really?  She gave the greek word and a very distinct definition and how hope applies to our lives and should be a very integral part of the Christian life.  Did she discuss, faith and love  and  all of the other characteristics that make up a Christian life?  No!  :)  It was all about hope.  God is our HOPE! :)  He will be the hope of every single woman and child  who comes through our gates.  

“There is something He is calling us to; it is going to be a call to courage and it is going to be a call to perseverance; we are going to think we are the last person equipped to do it.”~ Beth Moore  

I couldn’t have said it better myself!

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